I mean this figuratively as well as literally.
Have you ever found yourself marketed by someone who is going overboard to get you to buy their product? They’re not talking to you about trying said product or even explain what it is or how it would be valuable to you. You try to talk to them and ask questions but the only response you get is “Just buy it I promise you will like it.” This is an example of someone taking you to bed without buying you dinner. They want to jump straight to the chase without giving you the opportunity of getting to know you or your likes and needs.
When I talk to anyone about my business, the first thing I do is tell them to research the products and the company I represent. I don’t want anyone to jump in without knowing what they are jumping into. I did this myself before getting started. I spent six months watching video’s, questioning people, reading information on the internet. Only after I was completely comfortable with my knowledge of what I was getting into did I decide to not only try out the program but to sign on as a consultant.
Sales people are good at their business because they know how to convince you that you want/need the product they are selling. In fact in watching training videos and following all the gurus I follow the first thing they usually teach is,’ You need to convince people they need what you have.” No where in that does it state ‘you need to find out if they need what you have.’
If you are in, or getting ready to start your own business, you should take the time to get to know your prospects. Yes, it’s ok to be excited and I understand that you have to make a living therefore you have to make the sales, get the customers, followers etc. But you will have a closer, longer lasting relationship if you create a personal experience for your new customers/clients.
The same thing goes for relationships. I understand chemistry as much as the next person. I have been there, done that and probably still have a t-shirt or two to prove it. But jumping into bed with someone just to make them want you more usually results in making them want you less. It doesn’t matter how good the connection under the sheets are either. If you don’t have that some kind of connection outside of the bedroom you will never have the relationship you dream of. Now, if all you are looking for is an intimate relationship than that is great. But I have heard it and experienced it to many times myself to not know the cycle.
You meet somewhere in person and hang out for a bit. Then you end up horizontal and feel like your really going somewhere. Then you end up horizontal again…and again…and you start wondering if there is going to be anything else. You don’t get asked out for dinner, there are no date nights planned or star gazing or anything else you dream of in between the trysts that are now occurring on a regular basis. The feeling of being special starts to fade away once you start questioning why your not going out in public and why all of your meetings are revolving around bedroom time.
You deserve dinner, you deserve to be treated as an intelligent human being who is capable of making well informed decisions. You are more than one night stands and moments of satisfaction. This relates to business as well as pleasure. If someone is interested in you as a customer or a partner they need to earn your trust. You should be a goal that gets worked toward, not an easy target. Don’t ever allow yourself to be that needy or gullible. You are not a means to an end, but you have to put your foot down and make the decision to not allow this to happen.
This weeks challenge is to think about the last time someone took you out to dinner. When I meet a new prospect I offer to take them to coffee at the minimum to share my business with them. Depending on which business I am sharing. If it is my massage business I will give them a brief shoulder or neck massage. If they are not local I will ask if they would like me to send samples for my product business. I also have a video on stand-bye that tells all about my nutrition program in depth and I send it to them and ask them to watch it. Then I follow up with them and talk to them about what I have to offer.
How do you handle people pitching to you? Do you just jump on board because it looks/sound good? Do you cut them off because you don’t have time to hear/look at whatever is being offered possibly missing out on something that might actually make your life better?
How about attraction? Do you allow yourself to be treated in ways that you would rather not, just so you can be around the person your attracted to? Are you worried that if you didn’t, they wouldn’t want to be around you. Do you feel less than, more often than not, questioning why there isn’t more to the relationship than occasional hook-ups that leaving you feeling empty and wanting more?
What can/will you do to change these circumstance. You really have the ball in your court in all of the above scenarios. Refuse to purchase items or programs until you have been given every opportunity to review and research the products and company. Stop allowing yourself to be somebodies sometime or in-between time, if your not important enough to be their All the time, if that’s what you want to be. Even if your not wanting to be the All the time, you still deserve to be more than a body in the dark. Demand to be seen in the light, in public, and to be acknowledged as worthy and valuable. You do deserve it!
Until next week I hope that the light you seek shines down on you and you realize how valuable you are as a human.
As always…Face it, Challenge it, Conquer it. Conquer on!